Hotel Dorrance Plaza

(Sung to the tune of "Hotel California" by the Eagles)

In a darkly lit hallway,
Cool breeze in the air
Warm smell of cigarette smoke
Rising up through the air
Up ahead on the fifth floor,
I saw a quarreling fight,
My heart grew heavy and my mind grew numb
Had Justice took off for the night?

There they stood in the doorway
I heard the sheriffs yell
And I was thinking to myself
Is this Family court or it is Hell?
Then they pulled out the handcuffs
Led some poor slob away
There were voices in the corridor
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel Dorrance Plaza
Such a crowded place
(background) Such a crowded place
Such an awful case
Plenty of room at the Hotel Dorrance Plaza
Any time of year
(background) Any time of year
You can find it here

His gender's Tiffany-twisted
She drives a Mercedes Benz
He's got a lot pretty, pretty boys
She calls friends
How they dance in the courtroom
Bitter sweet sweat
Some trial to remember
Some trial to forget

So I said to the court clerk
Are we next in line?
And she said you'll be lucky
If you're heard in 2099
And still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say


Welcome to the Hotel Dorrance Plaza
Such a crowded place
(background) Such a crowded place
Such an awful case
We're dukin' it out at the Hotel Dorrance Plaza
What a pack of lies
Bring your alibis

Cameras in the ceiling
Victims throw the dice
The Judge said
You are all just prisoners here
of your own device
And in the master's chambers,
Lawyers gather for the feast
They carve up their clients' lives
And divide them piece by piece

Last thing I remember
I was left feeling very poor
and I thought I heard someone say
Don't let your ass get smacked by the door
Relax said the court clerk
You've been granted a reprieve
You can recess any time you like,
But you can never leave.


Copyright 1999